8 Reasons Why Introverts Are So Darned Lovable and Good Looking Too

A few traits most introverts didn't know about themselves

 Outside our front door in what some might call a garden is a rock with a distinctive look that I hauled all the way to Colorado from Rochester, New York. It’s called a Turtle Rock. They’re round and formed with oval shapes separated by angular cracks of crystallized minerals. The rock looks like the back of a turtle shell. Turtle stones (as they’re also called) were first discovered around Conesus Lake in Upstate New York. Some say they have also been found in Siberia.

Turtle Rocks are symbolic. I can relate to a sturdy turtle shell — it reminds me of the proverbial shell I retreat to at times when I’m feeling overwhelmed or after a busy day filled with lots of people. (With a birthday in July, I’m also the Crab in astrological terms. Obviously, shells are my thing.)

On one particular day, I withdrew into that shell completely, falling fast asleep sitting straight up on the couch in my presentation suit. That morning I had spoken to an audience of 400 people and pumped out every bit of energy I could muster to provide an engaging, entertaining program for that crowd. It was exhilarating and exhausting at the same time. But would I attend the “after party?” Nope, not on your life! I couldn’t wait to find myself a quiet space and decompress. Displaying that much energy drained me.

My name is Laura Lollar, and I am an introvert. People would argue with me about that, given my outgoing nature. But they would be mistaken.

Introverts Are Misunderstood

Introverts make up 25%-40% of the population and we are often misunderstood. Too often, people think of an introvert as a recluse who avoids any kind of social event. They may characterize us as the typical wallflower — someone who would never make a good networker.

Being an introvert does not always mean we are shy or socially inept. Introverts are known to be great public speakers, actors, and leaders — and we often enjoy a good party as much as the next person.

They’re often good salespeople, but not the “foot-in-the-door” type of person. One of the best salespeople I had on my team was a quiet but very friendly lady named Kathleen. She would get on the phone with a customer and with her soft, southern accent she’d sweet talk her way into upselling a ton of additional products. But to look at her you’d never guess that she had those skills. Some people think that only extroverts are good at sales.

How to Tell the Difference

My husband, the engineer, tells this joke: How can you tell if you’re talking to an extroverted engineer? They’re looking down at your shoes instead of their own. Ha! Ha! 

There’s a big difference between an introvert and extrovert: Introverts need to recharge their energy after spending time with a large group of people. They’ll seek out opportunities to then be alone or spend time with a close friend. Extroverts can go from one event to another without feeling the need to recharge. They get energized by the excitement of being around a crowd. External stimulation is what extroverts thrive on.

But it’s not an all or nothing distinction. Most people fall somewhere on a continuum between introversion and extroversion with a tendency to lean one way or the other. I’ve found that one’s level of introversion can shift depending on who they spend a great deal of time with. For example, if they have a boss who is highly introverted, they may feel the need to ramp up their extroverted tendencies to compensate. Over time, maintaining that effort could become stressful however. That’s where knowing yourself comes in, and understanding why you may be exhausted at the end of the day.

8 Reasons Why Introverts Are So Darned Lovable

It’s likely you already suspect if you’re an introvert. Perhaps people have described you that way or you’ve taken a behavioral styles assessment like the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator.

In case you want confirmation, this article shares clues to describe the introverts’ most endearing qualities. They include:

• Being around lots of people drains your energy

• You enjoy solitude

• You have a small group of close friends

• People may find it difficult to get to know you

• Too much stimulation leaves you feeling distracted

• You are very self-aware

• You like to learn by watching

• You are drawn to jobs that involve independence — you are comfortable being a solitary worker

Ultimately, introverts are endearing, lovable and darned good looking too!

How to Recharge

My turtle rock is a reminder that crawling into one’s shell can be a temporary respite to recharge the batteries, but most introverts don’t see it as a permanent solution. We are social beings who depend on each other to thrive in this world. The idea is to decide how often you need to recharge and what qualifies as the best way to do it.

A friend and subscriber recently told me she plans a weekend of solitude each month — sometimes a get-away that lets her explore unknown places. She has a very busy and demanding job, so scheduling time to reconnect with nature does the trick for her. Recently it was a State Park where she sought solitude, but for you it could be a local park. And it doesn’t have to be one big trip. Try each day to find an opportunity to sneak away.

Other ways to recharge include:

• Taking a long, leisurely bath

• A spa day with a massage

• Hiking a neighborhood trail

• Hanging out in the recliner with a good book

• Quiet conversation with a good friend

• Retreating to the “man cave” or the “she shed”

• Taking yourself out to lunch in a quiet cafe

• Going to the library

• Grooming your pet

• Listening to classical music while writing on the computer (as I’m doing now)

There’s nothing wrong knowing you want some “quiet time” every now and then. Don’t let anyone make you feel bad about fulfilling this need. After all, being the self-aware person you are, you know better than anyone else what is going to refuel your cylinders and help you be at your best.

See you in the shell!

Warmly, Laura